I am bad

Feelings of 

Self-loathing

Disgust

Shame

Seem to emanate 

from every cell

Oozing from my pores

I am bad

The extreme of 

I am Not Enough wounding

What happened to me

that this sentence is so 

deeply engrained in my being

That the words are weaved 

into my fibres

I am bad

Is it even mine

It could be my parents

Or their parents

Flowing down the ancestral river

Pooling in a stagnant 

eddy at my feet

I bathe here often

I am bad

It could be the collective 

I am bad

It could be other lifetimes

Whenever I get a bad-attack

When I finally remember 

Track my breath

Track my body sensations

Be with the 

nausea

heat

density

Until

With enough patience 

I am bad…

Enough curiosity

I am bad….

Enough loving awareness

I am bad…..

Transforms into

I am

BADASS.

by Tara Rose